Deep in the woods

Burning inside...

2010-06-15T17:54:00.006-04:00

I have been meaning to complete this poem for many years. Maybe the words will flow today...

Like a tree on fire,

Rumbling and falling,

I am burning inside...

Like a broken heart,

Set on desire,

I am burning inside...

Like a thirsty fool,

In a mirage,

I am burning inside...

Like a forest fire...

Silently spreading...

To places inside me

I have been fearing...

Moment after moment,

An eternity of dying...

And a heart in flames

Silently saying...

I am burning inside...

Deep

4.30-6.30pm

June 15, 2010.

Mumbai...

2008-12-04T18:03:00.002-05:00

There are no words to describe the emotions running through me when watching this video, which remembers the victims and heroes of the Mumbai attacks.

Ok, I lied...

2008-05-06T15:43:00.001-04:00

...in the previous post, when I said that was the coolest video I had seen in a while.
It is, in fact, this one!

Coolest video I have seen in a while...

2008-05-06T15:34:00.003-04:00

This video is one of the coolest I have seen in a while! Ever wonder how search happens? Turns out, its using Post-It notes. I LOLed when the search reached the video section - you will never expect it!

The 'Charlie bit my finger' video

2008-03-23T06:52:00.006-04:00

This vid has a whopping 13 million views on Youtube.

And, as with so many Youtube videos, so many spoofs: some funny, some not so much :)

Charlie Bit Me Remake 1:
(The girl in black has done a pretty good job!)

Charlie bit me Remake 2

Charlie Bit Me.. 15 years later

Remind me again, how did we ever waste time before Youtube?!!

Steve Ballmer at Mix'08

2008-03-16T20:41:00.005-04:00

I watched Steve Ballmer's interview at Mix'08 with Guy Kawasaki and thought I should share the video link here.

Steve Ballmer interview with Guy Kawasaki at Mix'08

As always Ballmer was entertaining - even though he was in PR mode for quite some time.

Some of the lighter moments from the interview I enjoyed:

When talking about Macbook Air, Ballmer grabbed the laptop from Kawasaki and waved it around yelling: My Toshiba is lighter than this... And where's the DVD drive?!!

Answering one of the audience questions on when web-developers were going to get some love, like Developers (referring, of course, to this), Ballmer stood up and repeated his developer mantra, this time for web developers.

On the serious side, he spoke about the Yahoo deal, Silverlight and a host of other issues.

Overall, a fun interview to watch :) Before parting, let me share a remix video on the theme - Developers!

Something silly...

2007-08-22T02:54:00.000-04:00

but maybe worth a chuckle...

What seems to be the problem?

2007-07-20T05:20:00.000-04:00

First, CNN interviewed Michael Moore about his latest film Sicko. However, just before they began the interview, they ran a report by Dr. Sanjay Gupta that claimed that Moore fudged some of the facts in his movie. Moore lost it when he heard that and blasted CNN for biased reporting, urging them to "tell the American people the truth" once in all these years. He also promised to post the facts on his website showing how all the facts in the movie were correct.

A day later, CNN admitted that they got some of their numbers wrong.

Finally, Gupta and Moore met head to head on Larry King Live, where they tried to explain their respective positions. As an impartial observor, I felt that Moore was basically right in principle, and while issue may be taken with his impolite behavior onscreen, we have to understand that not everyone can be sauve and smooth on television; however, that does not mean they are not speaking the truth, nor does it undermine the point they are making. Regarding specific objections about wait times being longer in Canada, I think these are observations tangential to the main discussion. If wait times are longer in Canada, they are much better in England and Australia, and nobody has claimed that the US clone the system in Canada or England. This is a discussion towards making a better health care system in USA, and the underlying intention is not to find solitary faults in other systems that are cited as examples, but to rectify faults in your own: if waiting times are longer in Canada, import that part of English policy that makes waiting times in UK shorter. If taxes are higher in France, look at what other countries are doing to keep them in check. Why should we pick up and slice and dice facts, when clearly this is a discussion about what is wrong with the system here: and it seems most people agree that it could use some reforms. Here is the head-to-head on Larry King Live:

Part 1:

Part 2:

Part 3:

On a parting note, am I the only one who felt annoyed that Larry King kept prompting them to finish their answers and indicating that they had only 'x' seconds left to answer? Let your guests make their points, thats the whole freaking point of inviting them to your show! Ah well, but what can you expect of a news network show that bumped Michael Moore's spot on Larry King just because Paris Hilton wanted to share her "growth as a person in prison".

The audacity of hope

2007-06-20T04:56:00.000-04:00

I am posting a clip of Paul Potts singing Opera from the 'Britain's Got Talent' competition. The story of Paul is the story of the audacity of hope (a phrase I borrow from Barrack Obama's famous 2004 keynote speech for John Kerry and which is also a 'must-listen'). Paul Potts, till just a couple of weeks back, worked as a phone salesman. But he always dreamt of making a career in singing.

As Paul was about to begin his audition for Britain's got talent, one could see that the judges were almost sure he would not come up with anything special. But, really, delving a bit deeper, I realized that I too was prejudiced against him at some unknown level. I wanted him to do well but didn't really feel he would. What is it inside us, that makes us discount people or their talent without so much as giving them a single change to prove themselves? What Paul reminds us is to give people a chance to show the world who they really are, before dismissing them. Here is what Paul came up with that day:

There are still some doubting Thomases who question his real talent and some even compared him unfavorably to Pavarotti, the famous opera singer. No doubt singing is about technique and style, but singing is also about emotions, about believing in the song, about making your audience feel the song and winning their hearts. And thats what Paul did. Needless to say, he won the competition:

Twitter is coming

2007-06-04T23:58:00.000-04:00

When I first saw Twitter, it seemed to me like an entertaining but mostly useless exercise in vanity. However, the more I use it (see What am I doing on the RHS of this page), read about it and see it being used, I get convinced that there is some value here.

Can you believe it, John Edwards has a twitter page! What a great way to tell your voters what you have been thinking about, talking about and where you are at. Of course, these could easily be fake, like this one for Bill Clinton. Although the John Edwards one looks genuine.

Also found a similar twitter page for woot.com recently, where followers could get texted or IMed about a new product as soon as it as posted. It seems whenever instant status updates are required, be it product updates, shuttle/train progress or just plain lovebird updates for people who want to keep a check on their better halves, this might be a useful thing to have.

Is it just me or are the twitter guyz on to something here?

Battle at Kruger

2007-06-04T00:03:00.000-04:00

This is the most amazing wildlife video I have seen in a long long time. You have to see it to believe it! It is also an amazing insight into the power of parental instinct to save one's kids, no matter what the danger is.

When Stevie met Billy

2007-05-31T21:25:00.000-04:00

A rare joint interview of Steve Jobs and Bill Gates at the D5 conference, May 30 '07. This one is a must watch!

Transcript and report about the interview here.

That day of the year...

2007-04-01T22:35:00.000-04:00

Have u tried these yet? :)

Gmail offers paper services!

Add one more day to you calendar! (you may need to sign out to see the trick, and this trick prb wont be up for more than one day)

Free broadband internet!

And finally... the hall of fame... from previous years:

Prb the most well-known: Google Lunar Research Center
My personal favorite: The technology behind Google rankings
Love and such: One Click love
Gulp!

Personally, I think the integrity section of pigeonrank is the most hilarious of all.

Happy April fool's day.

To Save a Life...

2007-03-12T04:09:00.000-04:00

It is easy to get lost in the spam of emails that claim to ask for help nowadays. However, sometimes, these can be true.

Piyush needs our help.

I donated to Piyush. You should too.

More on how, here.

More on Piyush, here. And here.

Donate, here.

You know you want to.

What is love?

2007-02-14T14:54:00.000-05:00

Why do I keep thinking of Haddaway's song "What is love?" today ? ;)

What is love
Oh baby, don't hurt me
Don't hurt me no more
Oh, baby don't hurt me
Don't hurt me no more

What is love
Yeah

Oh, I don't know why you're not there
I give you my love, but you don't care
So what is right and what is wrong
Gimme a sign

What is love
Oh baby, don't hurt me
Don't hurt me no more
What is love
Oh baby, don't hurt me
Don't hurt me no more

Whoa whoa whoa, oooh oooh
Whoa whoa whoa, oooh oooh

Oh, I don't know, what can I do
What else can I say, it's up to you
I know we're one, just me and you
I can't go on

What is love
Oh baby, don't hurt me
Don't hurt me no more
What is love
Oh baby, don't hurt me
Don't hurt me no more

Whoa whoa whoa, oooh oooh
Whoa whoa whoa, oooh oooh

What is love, oooh, oooh, oooh
What is love, oooh, oooh, oooh

What is love
Oh baby, don't hurt me
Don't hurt me no more

Don't hurt me
Don't hurt me

I want no other, no other lover
This is your life, our time
When we are together, I need you forever
Is it love

What is love
Oh baby, don't hurt me
Don't hurt me no more
What is love
Oh baby, don't hurt me
Don't hurt me no more (oooh, oooh)

What is love
Oh baby, don't hurt me
Don't hurt me no more
What is love
Oh baby, don't hurt me
Don't hurt me no more (oooh, oooh)

What is love?

-Haddaway

She walks in beauty...

2007-02-06T23:35:00.000-05:00

I am posting one of my favorite poems today, called "She walks in beauty..."

I had this poem in my Radiant Readers textbook in 7th grade.... I was very curious about it and really wanted our teacher to teach this poem, because I hadn't understood it by myself... Unfortunately, our english teacher thought it was too romantic a poem for our age and skipped it!

But I came back to read this poem a few years later... and this time I understood it much more... and came to appreciate Byron's definition of beauty of his love:-

One shade the more, one ray the less,
Had half impair'd the nameless grace

How amazing are these lines! He says... she is beautiful exactly as she is, and could not possibly be any more beautiful... in fact, even the smallest change in her will take away half her beauty... a beauty of such high proportions that he doesn't even know a way to describe it!...

Its an amazing read... take it away!

She walks in beauty...

She walks in beauty, like the night
Of cloudless climes and starry skies;
And all that's best of dark and bright
Meet in her aspect and her eyes:
Thus mellow'd to that tender light
Which heaven to gaudy day denies.
One shade the more, one ray the less,
Had half impair'd the nameless grace
Which waves in every raven tress,
Or softly lightens o'er her face;
Where thoughts serenely sweet express
How pure, how dear their dwelling-place.
And on that cheek, and o'er that brow,
So soft, so calm, yet eloquent,
The smiles that win, the tints that glow,
But tell of days in goodness spent,
A mind at peace with all below,
A heart whose love is innocent!

- Lord Byron

Munch tales...

2007-01-30T17:45:00.000-05:00

I love lunch at my workplace. Its almost always a dilemma deciding where to eat and once that is decided, is the question of what all to eat (because there are so many choices!). When you do decide all that though, you are ready to have some goooooooood food!

Take today, for example.

I began with a nice hot "hearty vegetable soup".

Then I had some delicious "wild mushroom ricosto rice"... I loved this, the way ricosto rice is made makes it a little wet and a little sticky and you can take my word for it, its very nice...

This was followed by "fried eggplant" with a peculiar looking green paste, almost like the dosa chutney you get in south Indian restaurants.

Hmm... a little of this and that, don't remember now...

A "fresh fruit salad"... pretty good...

And wound up the whole deal with a "blackberry cheese cake"... well, only ate half of this though... Halfway through it I was reminded of all the hard work I have been putting in at the gym :-|

So yeah, that kinda stopped the joyride and I trudged my way back to my office, reflecting on a job well done!

Wodehouse magic

2007-01-18T19:31:00.000-05:00

I was a little disappointed with the first few pages of P.G. Wodehouse's "Carry on, Jeeves!". Nothing much happening in the first few pages and a good deal of lines were devoted to explaining how he came about to work for the author. By the end of the tenth page, however, Wodehouse had started weaving his magic around me... In simple words and casual conversations, I was being introduced to the wits of the amazing Jeeves... I couldn't stop laughing at the way he says "Very good, sir!" at the most solemn and unexpected occasions... It is the ability to the treat the reader to something he doesn't expect at a time he isn't ready... while retaining both men in character, that makes this so amazing to read...

Sample these:

On hearing about the author's broken engagement to Florence and showing no sympathy for the same:

"You're sacked!"
"Very good, sir."
He coughed gently.
"...(long discourse of fatherly advice)... You would not have been happy, sir!."
"Get out!"
"...(discourse continues)...You would not enjoy Nietzsche, sir... He is fundamentally unsound..."
"Get out!"
"Very good, sir."

By this time, I was pausing between laughs, careful not to finish the moment too soon and to savor it as much as I could :P If there was any doubt that Wodehouse had me totally enthralled in his piece of work by now, he sealed the deal with the end of the first chapter:

On hearing from Jeeves that his choice of the suit was not 'suit'-able (pun mine :P) and asking him to give it away to someone:

He looked down at me like a father gazing tenderly at the wayward child.
'Thank you, sir. I gave it to the under-gardener last night. A little more tea, sir?'

And I became a Wodehouse fan. Just like that. So much so that I couldn't stop reading it. Work life gives us few moments of our own, add to that my varied interests like salsa and badminton and the picture looks grim. But I couldn't put the book down. I started reading it at breakfast in the morning... And took it to my trip on the long weekend... Moments in the line for baggage claim, I discovered, are better utilized with Wodehouse in your hand and Starbucks is more fun with you imagining the server to be a likeness of Jeeves.

Wodehouse, to conclude, is pure magic... Read it if you get a chance!

A visitor...

2006-12-11T03:17:00.000-05:00

We had a visitor at our house today. In fact, he is sitting right next to me as I write this. When A went out for doing his laundry today, this black and white visitor entered the house as if it was his long lost home. After taking a general look around the house, he decided to settle down on the sofa. When we tried to move him away from the sofa, for fear that he would spoil it, he looked at us indignantly, as if to say "Is this more important than me and my comfort?".

With time, he went around for another look around the house. Its been just 15 minutes, but he already feels like he owns the house. He has already rejected the bowl of milk that we put out for him, thinking he was hungry. He made some mild attempts at PR by rubbing his head against my hand and my laptop. And then spent a few thoughtful moments looking at my search attempts to find what to do with stray cats. We concluded that Bay area cats have the general air of "been there done that" when it comes to the internet. He seems currently occupied with exploring how my jacket feels, because thats a bit warmer than the sofa and the laptop.

After trying unsuccessfully to involve A in a friendly discourse, he has now returned back to take his place beside me, purring slowly and closing his eyes to evoke sympathy and clearly asking for more choice delicacies than cold milk.

Let me see what I can find!

Ruben's tube

2006-12-04T23:16:00.000-05:00

This is freaking awesome!

(Read more about Ruben's tube here)

Burning inside...

2006-11-27T18:04:00.000-05:00

Can you hear it?
Like a tree on fire
Rumbling and falling
I am burning inside...

Can you feel it?
Like a heart set on desire
Breaking and shaking
I am burning inside...

Can you cure it? Make this pain go away?
Like a thirsty fool in a mirage
Wincing and pining
I am burning inside...

Like a forest fire... silently spreading
To places inside me... I have been fearing...
Moment after moment... an eternity of dying...
Till there's nothing left but ashes simmering...
Telling a story of a heart...
That was burning inside!

-deep
(to be modified)
Monday, Nov 27 2006, 2.30-3.08 pm

A poem I just wrote...

2006-11-02T16:48:00.000-05:00

Ever remember
When we were kids
How we would play
A game of cards?
And hold those pieces
Close to our hearts
Lest we reveal
To surreptitious glances
All that we had
And worse still....
All that we didn't!

That one moment, dreaded and cold,
When people know
The cards that you hold
And their eyes glow
With the hint of knowing
That you 'll never win
You sat there defeated
Even before
A single card was played
And wished it was all over...
Wished for a new game!

That was years ago...
We were just kids...
But now the cards are real
We hold them everyday
Closer and closer to our hearts
And go out into the world
Hoping no one will see
A card that will defeat you
Before you have had a chance to play...

Cos the stakes are higher
Its not a game anymore
No matter what the cards,
A new game there won't be...
The cards won't be dealt again,
These are the cards,
You have to play with...
This is the game
that you have to win...

-deep
Thursday, 2 Nov, 2006
1.25-1.40 pm

It's a cat's life...

2006-10-30T19:38:00.000-05:00

After laughing at these pictures for almost half a day, I think it's time to stop being selfish and share these scary cats with you.

Here are the rest:
(I can't stop laughing at these... they are too funny)

http://shadowdane.shackspace.com/cats.htm

http://www.acc.umu.se/~zqad/cats/index.html?large=yes&flow=yes

Watch out for the gangsta' cat and the invisible sandwich.

(Disclaimer: some pictures may offend...)

Diwali pics...

2006-10-22T17:07:00.000-04:00

We celebrated Diwali at Google this year by lighting a thousand and five hundred candles around the campus in the evening. It was a great sight, and my friend B took pictures of the event. B happens to be American, and so it was quite amazing that he remembered to get his camera on this day and took pictures of the decorations. He told me his camera has a candlelight exposure mode, which perhaps explains why the pictures look so good.

Happy Diwali to all of you!

Missing Riverbend...

2006-10-06T05:12:00.000-04:00

Where is Riverbend? I have been missing a post from her for some time now. I hope she is safe. She has not posted on her blog since 5th August now, and she generally posts within 10-15 days.

For the uninitiated, Riverbend is a girl from Baghdad who has documented her life in war-torn Baghdad for the past few years. Her blog has received worldwide attention, many supporters and a large number of detractors. Her blog reminds me of Anne Frank's diary, it is written in similarly simple language, and provides a window into the life of someone living the horror that is Baghdad today. (She writes (understandably) anonymously, and nobody knows the actual person or her real name. Some people claim that she is not real, but after reading her posts for more than an year, I am inclined to believe otherwise.)

Her blog has also been made into a book called "Baghdad Burning". I would recommend it as a very thought provoking read.

Blog:
http://riverbendblog.blogspot.com/

Feminist Press:
http://www.feministpress.org/Book/index.cfm?GCOI=55861100869560

Amazon:
http://www.amazon.com/Baghdad-Burning-Girl-Blog-Iraq/dp/1558614893/sr=1-1/qid=1160125501/ref=pd_bbs_1/104-3447117-0171120?ie=UTF8&s=books

Was it a coincidence that her last post was titled "Summer of Goodbyes"? I pray to God that it is. That it wasn't a hidden message. That she will come back.

The coolest man alive!

2006-08-31T05:22:00.000-04:00

He was answering a question for a million dollars. No person had ever won it before. And what does he do? Check it out!

How cool is that?!!!

So true...

2006-08-18T23:00:00.000-04:00

I read something that made me laugh today... just one line actually but very funny at that:

Mom spent the first 2 years of her life teaching me to walk and talk and the next 18 telling me to sit down and shut-up...

So true!

PS: I have been told to notify people that I am not going to be writing seriously for another two weeks at least. But yeah, tiny bits of wisdom like this may find their way onto the blog :P

Some lines I just wrote...

2006-08-10T18:16:00.000-04:00

I loved you for all things right and wrong
Wish some of those had been true
I loved my perception of an ideal form
Wish I had loved the real you

And when that truth had dawned on me
An eternity of love was gone
Yet the grief was not for the broken heart
'Twas for the death of a love never born...

-Deep
10 Aug 06, 5.55 -6.06 pm

Everyone needs a family...

2006-07-28T02:09:00.000-04:00

This is one of the most beautiful photos I have ever seen... and it just hits you right inside...

Some humor

2006-07-25T19:36:00.000-04:00

I have been a bit busy lately, but when I read this joke today and fell off the chair laughing, I knew I had to share this one!

A little girl and her mother were shopping. The girl asks her mother, "How old are you?"
Mommy says, "Honey, women don't talk about their age, you'll learn later on in life."
The girl then asks, "Mommy. How much do you weigh?"
Mommy says, "That's another thing women don't talk about, you'll find out when you are grown up."
The girl still wanting to know about her mother asks, "Mommy, why did you and daddy get a divorce?"
Mommy says, "Honey, that is a subject that hurt me very much, and I don't want to talk about it now."
The little girl is frustrated. She tells her girlfriend about her and her mother's conversation.
The girlfriend says, "All you have to do is sneak a look at your mother's drivers license. It's just like a report card, it tells you everything."
The little girl and her mother are shopping again. The girl says, "Mommy, I know how old you are. You are 32 years old."
Mommy is very shocked! She asks "Sweetheart how did you do that?"
The girl shrugs and says, "I just know, and I know how much you weigh. You weigh 120 pounds."
The mother is flabbergasted. She asks, "Where did you learn that?"
The little girl says, "I just know, that's all, and I know why you and daddy got a divorce. You got an 'F' in sex."

We are God's hands...

2006-07-13T15:50:00.000-04:00

I was discussing with R yesterday about how the people of Mumbai help each other in times of despair. She felt that the help was only out of helplessness, and not really from the heart. For some reason I agreed at that moment, since she is from Mumbai and she knows more. But thinking about it later, I felt, the kind of help that poured in after the attacks, can only come from the heart. You don't go to the hospital to donate blood inspite of having noone there, just out of helplessness. It comes from the heart.

I have many friends from Mumbai, and me being from Pune, I always have legendary debates pitching them against each other. It happened when I was in India and it continues even when we are here in the US. The Mumbaikars are a lot who are so proud of their city that they will concede to noone and cannot tolerate a single bad word about their city :) Yesterday I was thinking, in events like this, you can see why people love their city so much. The spirit of humanity is very much alive in Mumbai. And noone can break that.

I remembered a song by Jewel when I saw thousands of hands helping strangers on the streets and on the railway stations. This is a song which I had forgotten about, and not listened to for almost two years. But yesterday, just like that, it came back to me, and it rings so true for the everyday heroes who are God's hands in Mumbai today.

I am sharing the lyrics for "Hands" by Jewel below. See if you can get the song, its really wonderful to listen to.

Hands

If I could tell the world just one thing
It would be that we're all OK
And not to worry 'cause worry is wasteful
And useless in times like these
I won't be made useless
I won't be idle with despair
I will gather myself around my faith
For light does the darkness most fear
My hands are small, I know
But they're not yours, they are my own
But they're not yours, they are my own
And I am never broken
Poverty stole your golden shoes
It didn't steal your laughter
And heartache came to visit me
But I knew it wasn't ever after
We'll fight, not out of spite
For someone must stand up for what's right
'Cause where there's a man who has no voice
There ours shall go singing
My hands are small I know
But they're not yours, they are my own
But they're not yours, they are my own
I am never broken
In the end only kindness matters
In the end only kindness matters
I will get down on my knees, and I will pray
I will get down on my knees, and I will pray
I will get down on my knees, and I will pray
My hands are small I know
But they're not yours, they are my own
But they're not yours, they are my own
And I am never broken
My hands are small I know
But they're not yours, they are my own
But they're not yours, they are my own
And I am never broken
We are never broken
We are God's eyes
God's hands
God's mind
We are God's eyes
God's hands
God's heart
We are God's eyes
God's hands
God's eyes
We are God's hands
We are God's hands

-from Jewel's song "Hands"

Update: I found two videos for this song, and am sharing them here(Isn't YouTube amazing?!!) The first is the actual video for the song and the second is a live performance by Jewel. The original video is really beautiful.

Note: Use IE7 or Firefox to view the video. It seems the video does not play in IE6 (thanks for pointing this out, Aseem)

Original:

Stage Performance:

Another Zidane??!!!

2006-07-11T05:54:00.000-04:00

After some time spent in solemn thinking yesterday, the world is seeing the funny side of yesterday's head-butting event by Zidane. Heres a really funny video sent to me by my friend Sandy, with the title "Another Zidane"!! I almost fell down the chair laughing at this one!!

Update: I had uploaded this video on YouTube and enabled comments. One of the commenters called FraChan seems to have a good explanation for the goalkeepers sudden temper-flash! :P

I guess it went like this: THe goalkeeper's team had to score and the time was running out (92"), the player of the red/orange team was in offside but shot anyway to waste time, so the goalkeeper tries to kill him.
The ref, shows the yellow card to the player and I guess it was the second one because he was sent off.
Only yellow card for the goalie"

Why?

2006-07-10T04:11:00.000-04:00

Why is it that we must often see our greatest heroes fall? The most divine talent is so often accompanied by a tragedic ending... and so someone like Sir Don Bradman, who just needs 4 runs in the last match of his life to have an aggregate of 100, scores a duck and walks home... his dignity and pride intact, not a feather taken away from his cap, but yet... there is that elusive feeling of pain... of why things couldn't be as they ought to have been...

In a slightly different context, we felt the same pain when Klusner brought South Africa this close to the cricket world cup final in 98-99 but threw it away for just one run. Or in the famous Chennai test with Pakistan, when Sachin got us within 15 runs of the target, only to watch the match being lost in despair...

And today we feel the same pain again. Of the unexpectedly abrupt departure of Zinedine Zidane...With the only difference being that unlike the others, Zidane could have avoided what happened. What happened to you, Zizou? Till then I was marvelling at the guts of this man, the way he had played... The way he scored that penalty in the 7th minute was unbelievable... who takes such a risk in the World Cup finals, with a billion people watching, and in what will be remembered as his last game forever? The way he went for the gentle scoop in that penalty just shows the kind of confidence he has in his own abilities...

So then, what happened? Zizou gets angry over something and one moment of lapse leads to, arguably, a change in the fortunes of two nations. I am not saying that Italy would not have won otherwise, but Zidane just made it easier for them. And I am sure the whole of France wants to ask him one burning question... why, Zizou, why?

The end of roomism...

2006-07-10T04:04:00.000-04:00

This weekend I moved to a new place. It marks the end of almost two years of my stay with J and K. Will miss you both, guyz. N maybe you guyz will miss me too :) since I spent more time in your room than in mine.

We spent some good times together... amazingly brilliant discussions... amazingly stupid questions... it was all there... watching House Md like crazy maniacs, watching Two and a Half Men and laughing more than required... fun times... good times... old times...

Nothing more to say except... thanks for everything, guyz...

A dilemma...

2006-07-05T03:16:00.000-04:00

Here is a poem I wrote when I was 16. I wonder if this poem makes sense now, as it did then. It is about the meaningless superstitions in the remoter parts of India.

A Dilemma

With curious feet and anxious eyes
I roam today outside my city
How different a world here lies!
Just fifty miles away from vanity.

A world where people are just like me
And yet so clear and pure and candid
That rural affection with affinity
Contrasts with urban richness sordid

A world where people love to love
And keep it simple, beyond words
Who long to see my urban friends
And show them their proud herds

So nice a world is but so torn
In harmful, meaningless superstition
The agony of girls so young, wedded,
Gives utmost pain to my heart and vision!

But do I have the power to improve
This mass of simple, stubborn men?
Who love me from the bottom of their soul
But hate my black-inked pen!

The dilemma is - the good, the bad
Refuse to leave each other
Improved - they lose the purity they had
If not - they remain stagnised forever.

-deep

Rules of thumb...

2006-07-03T23:49:00.000-04:00

I would like to share this cool article by Matt Cutts on Rules of Thumb. Even if you are not in software, the rest of the rules still make this a very good read.

And oh, several people have offered many more rules in the comments section. Some of them are practical, some hilarious... dont miss any!

The spirit of football!!

2006-07-03T17:49:00.000-04:00

Just three more games to go, and the excitement couldn't be more! Just the right time to say those amazing lines by Grantland Rice from "Alumunus Football," one more time!

For when the One Great Scorer comes
To write against your name,
He marks-not that you won or lost-
But how you played the game!

In just those four lines it captures the very spirit of every game. And so it is that even when teams like Argentina go out of the race, we can never forget the passion with which they played the game. The 24-pass goal in their match against Serbia is the stuff magic is made up of. The video below is a treat to watch, and its just amazing to see the goal and an impassioned Maradonna watching magic (for once from outside the field) at the end of the video!

Match on!!

2006-07-01T16:21:00.000-04:00

I am watching Brazil versus France. I started out as a Brazil supporter in the beginning, but France are just playing so well that now I want them to win. And even as I was thinking of writing this, France has scored an amazing goal!

Take out the B from BRA and put in a F.

Hope FRA wins now cos BRA is just not upto it today!!

Go Zidane!!

Update: France has won and will face Portugal in the semi-finals. The way things are placed, I envisage a France-Germany final. That alone will be worthy of a final. But you never know.

And about todays match. I can feel the pain of all Brazil fans, me being one when the match started! But I don't think they played well at all, and in fact struggled to even keep the ball for a long time.

I had a chat with a friend just minutes after the match, excerpts of which sum it all up!

----

prash: france won dude

me: yup!! amazing!!

prash: the better team won

me: what the f was ronaldo doing dude ?

he seemed to be more interested in falling down and earning favors

prash: what the f was brazil doin!

me: instead of taking the ball ahead himself he just wanted favors

no effort

no f-ing effort man

prash: zidane played like a star shld in his last world cup

me: ohh yea man

it was amazing

specially he was just so composed

all the time

prash: he is the coolest soccer player

me: stuff stars are made of... yea

knowing its his last match...

he had such a calm composure

very impressive

prash: and the respect he gets from all the players including brazil says it all

me: yea man did u see that free kick ronaldo earned in the 88th minute

man that was so unfair!

prash: sum1 like apna dravid

me: there was no offense, he just fell down

prash: no offence at all

me: it wud have been sad if ronaldino had converted that free kick

they didn't deserve that free kick man

prash: true

truely man

the better team won

prash: i think its gonna be france vs germany

me: hmm... yea... anything else wud be unfair

---

And inspite of all this bravado, I am sad its over for Brazil. Good-bye Brazil, it was just not to be this time :(

What is an interview all about?

2006-06-27T02:02:00.000-04:00

I watched an interview (1 and 2) by Karan Thapar on CNN-IBN site today. While I do not want to comment anything on the subject matter of the interview, I felt the need to raise a few points about the way an interview should be conducted. (As usual the disclaimer that I have no experience in interviewing etc. but still it should be clear to anyone watching this that this is not the best way to interview someone)

What is the objective when you interview someone? To understand the interviewee's point of view, or to keep interrupting him time and again before he makes his point so that you seem to have the edge on him? Mr. Thapar may be a celebrated interviewer, but everytime I feel irritated that he just doesn't let the person complete his point. He makes statements and on cross-examining, changes them to his convenience!

I find this to be extremely wrong. You call a person to know his views. (S)he should get an opportunity to present them in the right way. It is also unfair that the interviewer is prepared with random statistics before the interview, and expects the other person to know them, acknowledge them and react to them after hearing them for the first time, without ever getting a chance to verify them, know their authenticity or the circumstances in which those statistics were gathered!

I must stress that I am not even siding with any point of view in this particular interview in this article. The question is just what constitutes a good interviewer, and I am sorry, but being an aggresive, stats-spewing machine is just not that.
I am sure some of you will say that the title "Devil's advocate" justifies all of this behavior, but really, it doesn't!! The reason you became a devil's advocate was to find out the views of the other person by assuming a position opposite him. Nothing wrong with that, but you still have to interview and LISTEN to the views being expressed!

Some of the best interviews I have seen are by Pranoy Roy and its not hard to see why. He does not interrupt, yet when he speaks, he commands enough respect to be not interrupted by the interviewee. When he does speak, he clears his point at length, and then sits back and waits for the answer to roll out. Thats how it should be. Isn't it so simple? One person talks, one listens. Otherwise its just noise.

And speaking of noise, Karan Thapar is still a good interviewer with at least a good agenda to speak about. The following two interviews by Mr. Prabhu Chavla(Sidhi Baat - Aaj Tak) are the most stupid interviews I have seen for a long long time.

1. Interview with Yuvraj Singh (1)

2. Interview with Rakhi Sawant (1,2 and 3)

And after that, I do not have the heart to say anything more on bad interviewing, as that would just mean beating an old point to death!

Update: It seems the videos are no longer available on YouTube. Well, just catch any of his interviews :P

दु:खाच्या घरी...

2006-06-22T22:17:00.000-04:00

I am posting my latest Marathi poem here. As it turned out, I had to translate it for one of my friends, as she doesn't know Marathi. So I already have an English explanation for this one ready. Although, as you will see, it doesn't sound the same in English. And yeah, the English part is in prose. Hope you like it.

Some background for English readers before I begin: So I have considered 'Sorrow' and 'Happiness' to be two individuals... 'Sorrow' is giving a party at his house to everyone... even though everyone hates "Sorrow", they have come there for the drinks!... so thats the background... the title means "At Sorrow's home"...

(I guess this is sounding mighty stupid in English, but I will continue all the same... I do stupid things everyday, so why should today be any different! :P)

दु:खाच्या घरी...

दु:खाच्या घरी एकदा
जमली होती पार्टी
दारु बीरु पीऊन अगदी
झींगली होती कार्टी...

(Once there was a party at "Sorrow's" house... and all the guests were totally intoxicated!)

दु:ख म्हणाले " दोस्तानों!
बिलकुल लाजू नका
इतके दिवस छ्ळल म्हणून
राग मानू नका!

("Sorrow" said to everyone... Friends! I know I have troubled all of you for so many days... but please...forget all that... and please enjoy yourselves to the fullest... I am really sorry about all these days that I have been troubling you... I need to come clean today...)

मनात खूप साठल आहे
काहीच सुचत नाही
माझी 'स्टोरी' सांगीतल्या शिवाय
आता राहवत नाही...

(So many things are filled in my mind right now...I just can't think clearly... I must tell you my story... today... I must, I must...)

मी आणि सुख दोघे
जुळे भाऊ होतो
पाच वर्षांचे होतो तेव्हा
जत्रेत गेलो होतो...

(Me and Happiness... we were both twin brothers... and when were very young, we went to a fair... )

गर्दी अशी जमली
नी गोंधळ असा उठला...
माणसांच्या त्या गर्दी मध्ये
सुखाचा हात सुटला!

(and there was such a rush... and such a chaos... that in that commotion of people, the hand of "Happiness" slipped away from my hand...)

तेव्हा पासून फ़िरतोय शोधत
दुनियेच्या जत्रेत
दिसतोय का 'सुख' माझा
कुणाच्या ही नजरेत..."

(And I have been roaming around looking for my "Happiness" everywhere from that day onwards... I look at everyone's eyes, hoping to find a glimpse of my dear "Happiness"...")

सुखा बरोबरचे लहानपणीचे
क्षण त्याला स्मरले
आणि सुखाच्या आठवणीने
दु:ख ढसाढसा रडले!

(Sorrow remembered the lovely moments in childhood that he had spent with "happiness" and such was his grief that "Sorrow" started crying loudly remembering "happiness")

नशा सगळ्यांची उतरली
दु:खाकडे पाहून!
दु:खालाही सुख मिळावे
वाटले राहून राहून...

(Everyone was sloshed... but looking at "Sorrow's" state... they just came back to their senses... and everyone really felt from the bottom of their heart... even "sorrow" deserved to get back his " happiness" ... all that "sorrow" had done was forgotten and now all they wanted was for "sorrow" to be reunited with "happiness")

सुखाच्या शोधामध्ये आता
मी सुद्धा फ़िरतोय
दु:खाला शांत करायचा
खूप प्रयत्न करतोय...

(I was there at that party... Yea I was... and now I am also looking for "Happiness"... for the sake of sorrow... to make him silent... to give him peace...)

जीवनाच्या रथाचे
आहेत सुख दु:ख सारथी
सुख मिळाले तर दु:खाच्या घरी
मीच देईन पार्टी!

(because happiness and sorrow are the drivers of the chariot of life... and life does not make sense without both of them... and really, if I find "happiness"... or if any of you find happiness...please let me know... I will give another party at the house of "sorrow")

-दीप

Two trips to Ellicott city!

2006-06-14T21:00:00.000-04:00

I have been feeling pretty down lately... It reached a limit last night around midnight... I called N and J and we went for a drive to Arundel Mills where we had coffee. Turns out that didnt help me at all. I dropped them home and set out on a drive alone. Just like that, I drove to Ellicott city. Something about that place gives me a little peace inside.

I came back to the lab around 2 am hoping to get some work done. Then something happened that brightened my day (rather night :)). I just met a friend online and somehow talking with that person made everything better in 5 minutes. I could not believe the change in my mood and I could not believe I could be so volatile in my emotions. Do I know myself anymore? I just was so happy I went for a drive once again, listening to my favorite songs and singing them at the top of my voice!! It was nothing short of a joy ride, at the end of which I had completed my second trip to Ellicott city. Make that two and a half, cos halfway back from this second trip, I turned and made another trip!

When I came home at 5.30 am, all I could do was fall asleep quietly.

Google spreadsheets

2006-06-06T22:31:00.000-04:00

It was the first day of Google Spreadsheets launch, and I found it useful already! I did not have Excel on the comp in my lab and needed to verify an expenses spreadsheet. Its cool to know that now I can see my sheets from any computer, without having to email it to myself and without maintaining multiple inconsistent copies.

The invites are going to be limited, so you guyz should get one for yourself pretty soon from this link:

http://www.google.com/googlespreadsheets/try_out.html

A little humor...

2006-05-19T02:08:00.000-04:00

This one has been hanging outside the door of one of our professor's office for a long time now... And even though I have seen it umpteen times, it still makes me laugh ...

Tough question...

2006-05-18T20:48:00.000-04:00

I think of weird things for no reason. Today, I was thinking... If I were to remove one year from my life like it never happened, which one would I like to remove... hmm... What do you think, which would YOU remove in your life??

What turns you on in a girl...

2006-05-15T18:52:00.000-04:00

* darkness... music of the 90s hit song 'tu mujhe suna main tujhe sunau apni prem kahani' from Chandni plays in the background...*

* music fades and curtain slowly opens.... narrator speaks.... *

On an otherwise normal day beginning at 5pm, I sat down with K to discuss the finer things of life. The discussion swayed to how one perceives which girl is good looking or not. That also kicked up some dust about our preconceived notions. Out of the blue, K asked:

*lights... K and D are sitting on the bed discussing...*

K: So what turns you on in a girl??

D: hmmm...

K: It has to be something measurable... it can't be vague like she has to be sophisticated or something like that... Something like her eyes should be a certain way...

D: hmmm... (visualizing, only for dramatic effect and watching K's reaction... which included his eyes widening in anticipation)... Long hair!!

I thought that was it. Of course K the wily fox was not to be satisfied by such answers!

K: hmm... long hair... long hair.... (repeating this to himself... I had no idea why, but knew soon...)

K: So what kind of long hair...?

D: Hmm... just long hair?

K: No! Straight or curly?

D: Straight! Actually straight or curly doesn't make a big difference, but preferably straight!

K: hmmm...

D: So what is your turn on?

K: Curly hair!

D: You mean long curly hair...?

K: Nahi, any type of curly hair...

D: Even if she has short hair?

K: Yes...

D: Even if she has only one hair, and it is curly!!

Both: Hee hee hee!!

D: I think straight is good.. because you can always make it curly...

K: (incredulously and almost screaming) Curly can also be made straight!!!!!!!!

D: (calmly, acting as if my family business is hair parlors) well... yeahhh... but curly to straight will cost you more!!

Both: Hee hee hee haw haw haw!!

*exit rolling and laughing all at once... *

*Narrator: as the cliche goes, beauty lies in the eyes yada yada yada... so you would have to see her with my eyes to know what I mean... kind of like what someone once said..."meri nazar se tum dekho toh yaar nazar woh aaye~~"*

* title music starts playing... lights fade... curtains!!*

Yippie!!!! FRIENDS will return!!

2006-05-14T22:58:00.000-04:00

FRIENDS is going to return, its gonna be 4 double episodes... Man I cant wait!!

http://www.hollywood.com/news/detail/id/3477372

Delightful Marathi poem by Mangesh Padgaonkar

2006-05-14T22:01:00.000-04:00

I come from Maharashtra and love Marathi poetry. Mangesh Padgaonkar is a familiar name for all us Maharashtrians. His poems are amazingly simple, touching, funny... all rolled into one... Today I re-read one of my favorite poems by him on Orkut and couldnt resist the temptation to share it here. Please read in IE. Its called 'प्रेम म्हणजे प्रेम असत'. Delight to read! :) I remember one more poem by him, it is called "Shatada prem karave..." It is one of the most beautiful poems I have ever read. I will try to find it. Meanwhile, take this one away!!

प्रेम म्हणजे प्रेम असत

प्रेम म्हणजे प्रेम म्हणजे प्रेम असतं,
तुमचं आणि आमचं अगदी सेम असतं !

काय म्हणता? या ओळी चिल्लर वाटतात?
काव्याच्या दृष्टीने थिल्लर वाटतात?
असल्या तर असू दे, फसल्या तर फसू दे !
तरीसुद्धा, तरीसुद्धा
प्रेम म्हणजे प्रेम म्हणजे प्रेम असतं
तुमचं आणि आमचं अगदी सेम असतं !

मराठीतून इश्श म्हणून प्रेम करता येतं;
उर्दूमध्ये इष्क म्हणून प्रेम करता येतं;
व्याकरणात चुकलात तरी प्रेम करता येतं;
कॉन्व्हेंटमध्ये शिकलात तरी प्रेम करता येतं !

सोळा वर्षं सरली की अंगात फुलं फुलू लागतात,
जागेपणी स्वप्नांचे झोपाळे झुलू लागतात !
आठवतं ना, तुमची माझी सोळा जेव्हा सरली होती
होडी सगळी पाण्याने भरली होती !
लाटांवर बेभान होऊन नाचलो होतो,
होडीसकट बुडता बुडता वाचलो होतो !
बुडालो असतो तरीसुद्धा चाललं असतं,
प्रेमानेच अलगद वर काढलं असतं !
तुम्हाला ते कळलं होतं, मलासुद्धा कळलं होतं !
कारण,
प्रेम म्हणजे प्रेम म्हणजे प्रेम असतं
तुमचं आणि आमचं अगदी सेम असतं !

प्रेमबीम झूट असतं, म्हणणारी माणसं भेटतात,
प्रेम म्हणजे स्तोम नुसतं, मानणारी माणसं भेटतात !
असाच एक जण चक्क मला म्हणाला,
“आम्ही कधी बायकोला फिरायल नेलं नाही;
पाच मुलं झाली तरी प्रेमबीम कधीसुद्धा केलं नाही !
आमचं काही नडलं का? प्रेमाशिवाय अडलं का?”
त्याला वाटलं मला पटलं !
तेव्हा मी इतकंच म्हटलं,
“प्रेम म्हणजे प्रेम म्हणजे प्रेम असतं
तुमचं आणि आमचं मात्र सेम नसतं !”
तिच्यासोबत पावसात कधी भिजला असाल जोडीने,
एक चॉकलेट अर्धं अर्धं खाल्लं असेल गोडीने !
भर दुपारी उन्हात कधी तिच्यासोबत तासन् तास फिरला असाल,
झंकारलेल्या सर्वस्वाने तिच्या कुशीत शिरला असाल !

प्रेम कधी रुसणं असतं,
डोळ्यांनीच हसणं असतं,
प्रेम कधी भांडतंसुद्धा !!
दोन ओळींची चिठीसुद्धा प्रेम असतं,
घट्ट घट्ट मिठीसुद्धा प्रेम असतं !

प्रेम म्हणजे प्रेम म्हणजे प्रेम असतं
तुमचं आणि आमचं अगदी सेम असतं !

Mangesh Padgaonkar

मै उसी को तो भूल रहा था ...

2006-05-11T17:52:00.000-04:00

Here is a hindi poem I wrote two years ago. I wrote it when I parted with my best friend of two years. Many of my poems are romantic poems. I did not want this one to be one, because she was my best friend. I have tried to achieve that. But I would love to know if I have succeeded, because different friends have told me different things in this regard.

On the writing front, this is the first time I am blogging in Hindi. Firefox shows most of the letters correctly, but IE shows everything properly. Some of the spellings here may be wrong. I tried to get most of them right, but I am new at this, and I didn't know how to get all the variations in letters using 'Baraha' software. I would appreciate if someone can tell me how to get the "chh" in "kuchh" and "ou" in "hoo" :))

UPDATE: I have corrected most of the spelling mistakes after reading the rules. Thanks Onkar! Also, a friend pointed out that Firefox displays many characters incorrectly, so this should be ideally viewed in Internet Explorer.

A little about the poem. The poem is divided into three parts. In the first part, my friend is talking to me. In the second part and third parts, I am talking to the reader. Here goes!

मैं उसी को तो भूल रहा था ...

तुम मुझे भूल जाना दीप
अल्वीदा समय उसने मुझसे कहा था ...
हर बार की तरह उसने जो भी माँगा
दिया मैंने उसे वही वादा था ...

मैं उसे भूलना चाहता हूँ दोस्त
सब से मैं यह कह रहा था ...
उसे भुलने की कोशिश मे मैं
यादो के वार सह रहा था ...

जब ना आया बुलावा कोई
आओ ना कुछ बातें करे!
जब ना आया खत कोई
नज़ाने कितने दिन गुजरे...

उस्की यादो के पन्ने मैं
एक एक कर के खोल रहा था
हा मैंने कहा ना दोस्त!!
मैं उसी को तो भूल रहा था ...

ख्वाबो. मे वो अब आती नही
कम्बख्त ख्वाब भी कहाँ आते है!
और आएन्गे भी कैसे?
नीन्द भी कहाँ आती है!!
ख्वाबो मे मैं चुपके चुपके
फ़िर भी उससे मिल रहा था
हा मैंने कहा ना दोस्त!
मैं उसी को तो भूल रहा था ...

और इन पन्क्तियों की रानी
कब से मुझको भूल गयी थी
खत को मेरे धुल समझ कर
खुशीयों मे वो झूल रही थी
आखों से तब बहा जो पानी
कब से दिल को जला रहा था
यादो के वो तीर जहरीले
बेरहमी से चला रहा था...

(c) दीप

Testing hindi blogging

2006-05-11T16:03:00.000-04:00

आज मै उपर, आसमा नीचे

Evergreen debate!

2006-05-08T03:22:00.000-04:00

Discussions (rather debates) on Mac vs Windows never get old!! Here's one more! Maybe this one is a little in favor of the Mac.

More on Mac

An article I really liked... Domino effect...

2006-05-08T02:32:00.000-04:00

I read an article recently which I really enjoyed. It is beautifully written, so nostalgic and for some reason I relate a lot to it. So many words from the article ring true to my personal experiences. I found I was copying and pasting the link to the article to too many friends individually, so I thought I would just give it here.

The Domino effect

The letter...

2006-05-07T03:01:00.000-04:00

A poem I wrote back in college... thankfully its not inspired from my life!

The letter

He opened her letter slowly
[Lest it should tear apart]
And noticed how easily
She had broken his heart.

She wrote of ideals long cherished
And duties of her own
She pointed out how she too wished
Not to leave him alone.

Then she spoke of her desires
Which made her write all this
How she now wished to acquire
Fame and worldly bliss.

Her love for him was unending,
She said throughout the note
That was why she was sending
The letter which she wrote.

She had to think of her own life
And fulfil her aspirations
It would hurt his heart and hers
But it had to be done.

He stared at the blank cover
And uttered agonizing screams
But the letter was over
And so were his dreams!

He closed his eyes in silent pray
And again wiped his tears
He had read the same letter everyday
For the last twenty years.

(c) deep

Waiting...

2006-04-30T20:32:00.000-04:00

There have been some questions, some grievances and even some threats about explaining what the hell the poem under the title of this blog means. I thought the poem was famous, but as I now realize, it is not so famous in my friend circle. After a heart-wrenching cry from my MS dude friend Ashish to explain what it means, I decided to shine some light on this.

First I should say that the poem is "Waiting" by John Burroughs and for any of you who thought that this was by me, I can only fold my hands serenely and say "Thenkew, very flattered...". I am not qualified to really explain what this poem means, so I thought I would just give the entire poem here and that would quell at least some questions :) Its a beautiful peace of work, pure pleasure! Take it away!!

Waiting - By John Burroughs

Serene, I fold my hands and wait,
Nor care for wind, nor tide, nor sea;
I rave no more 'gainst Time or Fate,
For lo! My own shall come to me.

I stay my haste, I make delays,
For what avails this eager pace?
I stand amid the eternal ways
And what is mine shall know my face.

Asleep, awake, by night or day,
The friends I seek are seeking me;
No wind can drive my bark astray,
Nor change the tide of destiny.

What matter if I stand alone?
I wait with joy the coming years;
My heart shall reap where it hath sown,
And garner up its fruit of tears.

The waters know their own, and draw
The brook that springs in yonder heights;
So flows the good with equal law
Unto the soul of pure delights.

The stars come nightly to the sky;
The tidal wave comes to the sea;
Nor time, nor space, nor deep, nor high,
Can keep my own away from me.

A singular event at 4733 Aldgate Green

2006-04-27T19:47:00.000-04:00

< Note>

This article (?) was posted earlier in September 2005 but it proved to be very controversial, so it was taken off the blog. However, several readers expressed a wish to see this article up again. (OK, that is a blatant lie). So I am putting it up again, however all the controversial statements have been removed.

Peace.

< /Note >

I swear its true. It really happened. This goes back to March 2005. J and I were deep into our study books (yeah right) when we were disturbed by a singular event.

We looked at each other in astonishment. Something totally unheard of was happening. We were hearing human voices from the other room in our townhouse. This room, among other belongings, contained our roomies N and K and a couple of sparrows staying in the roof of that room. Till that day, the only sounds escaping that room were chirps from the sparrows, who, perhaps sensed that the room needed some liveliness.

And now this was happening. My belief in humanity was being shattered. J cautiously took a few steps towards their room and I followed at a safe distance. No-one knew what to do. J gently opened the door and the sight that lay before us, was unique, rare and wonderful.

To our surprise, N was looking at K and saying something. To our further astonishment, K was listening intently and nodding in agreement.

Gripes!

This had never happened before. We got nervous, uncomfortable and restless. A code had been broken. Not knowing what to do, we stood there, dumbfounded. The sparrows listened too. They weren't used to human voices. Till now they accounted for most of the speech in that room. And now out of nowhere, this was happening right in front of their tiny sparrow eyes!! They cleverly recognized this as a rare opportunity to hear some conventional English words, and took their positions behind the student benches.

And so we all just stood there and watched the great miracle, which is paralleled only by the miracle of the day when J slept for just a little over 8 hours.

We watched. The sparrows watched. N spoke. K listened. It was a golden moment that is frozen in time and etched on my mind.

Amazingly enough, I lived through it to tell it all.

A poem by Johann Sebastian Bach

2006-04-21T18:24:00.000-04:00

When I was in school, one of the best things I discovered was the German library in Pune, Max Mueller Bhavan. It was a free membership, to add to the joy of reading new books every month. And so every month, I would make a trip to this place. One of the important milestones in the trip was to go to the small burger shop in the library campus :) And then, the books! I could spend hours looking at new books, reading their last page. They also had audio cassettes, ranging from Beethoven and Mozart to the world war tunes to the latest in rock and pop.

In particular, I was drawn to one section of the books, where biographies of great music composers were kept. And so it is that I read about the lives of Beethoven, Mozart, Bach and other composers. Interestingly enough, I hadn't listened to too many of their musical works (except some Beethoven), but still I found reading their biographies very interesting. Each ones life reflected so much more than just their musical work. Their values, their society, their struggles, their hopes, their despair. And I found a common thread in most composers lives, that they often led one of emotional turbulence. Perhaps that is the price they paid for being gifted with such extra-ordinary talent.

In particular, I was impressed by some of the events in Beethoven's life. One that stands out is the letter he sent to the prince who patronized him, refusing to play for Napolean's forces, inspite of the prince insisting that he do so. In dramatic fashion, he wrote in his letter: "Prince! What you are, you are by birth and by accident. What I am, I am by myself. There have been, and there will be, thousands of princes. There is only one Beethoven." Amazing. Almost every person on earth, however ignorant of music, must have heard "Fur elise" by Beethoven. The story of his life is something that everyone should also read, along with enjoying his musical works.

However, today's article is about another composer, who was slightly different from the rest. Who had a relatively calmer life, and whose only joy in life was music and only fear was God. Johann Sebastian Bach. Extremely talented, extremely religious. And in his biography, I found this poem which is attributed to him. There is no evidence that he wrote it, and yet most people believe it is his work. Regardless, this is a beautiful piece of poetry that gives immense pleasure (see italicized stanza)

Edifying Thoughts of a Tobacco Smoker

Whene'er I take my pipe and stuff it
And smoke to pass the time away,
My thoughts, as I sit there and puff it,
Dwell on a picture sad and gray:
It teaches me that very like
Am I myself unto my pipe.

Like me, this pipe so fragrant burning
Is made of naught but earth and clay;
To earth I too shall be returning.
It falls and, ere I'd think to say,
It breaks in two before my eyes;
In store for me a like fate lies.

No stain the pipe's hue yet doth darken;
It remains white. Thus do I know
That when to death's call I must harken
My body, too, all pale will grow.
To black beneath the sod 'twil turn,
Likewise the pipe, if oft it burn.

Or when the pipe is fairly glowing,
Behold then, instantaneously,
The smoke off into thin air going,
Till naught but ash is left to see.
Man's fame likewise away will burn
And unto dust his body turn.

How oft it happens when one's smoking:
The stopper's missing from its shelf,
And one goes with one's finger poking
Into the bowl and burns oneself.
If in the pipe such pain doth dwell,
How hot must be the pains of Hell.

Thus o'er my pipe, in contemplation
Of such things, I can constantly
Indulge in fruitful meditation,
And so, puffing contentedly,
On land, on sea, at home, abroad,
I smoke my pipe and worship God.

(Un)successful room decoration attempts...

2006-04-20T13:19:00.000-04:00

Sometimes one feels ones room should be decorated. While past wisdom has dictated that one let such feelings pass by, once in a while, the madness stays long enough. And the room gets decorated. Well. Sorta. I had a couple of CD boxes, two cute gifts from a very special friend, and also an idol my roomie gave me. The result: Tada!!

A million words...

2006-04-20T02:00:00.000-04:00

Continuing the trend of posting some of my old poems (along with some old memories) here, I am presenting ... *fanfare* A million words...

A million words...

Why did u say a million words
A million words of praise,
And if you did then why was it
With warm and heartfelt grace?
Look what those million words
Have done to me today!
Look what those million words
Will never be able to say!

I go around in circles
Feeling like an absolute fool,
I can't forget my first love
Which I had in school…
Those million words are pleasure and pain
And oh! the pain is such!
Those million words won't let me forget
Why I love you so much!

A Love Letter ...

2006-04-18T19:03:00.000-04:00

A love letter I never posted... those of you who attended the valentine day party in 2005 have already got this one :) Its kinda silly n kiddish, but close to my heart because I read it out to someone when I was a teen and she was more amused than impressed :) So I finished reading the poem to her and waited for a response, but she looked only amused. Finally she said, I like the lines with "to live with you or live without you..." and even though she probably didn't mean it, it more than made my day :)) Now I know what you are thinking, but hey, gimme a break, I was only fifteen!

A Love Letter ...

If you think someone's been waiting for you through the long years dear
I wonder if you shall even think of me as one of the people for whom you care

Perhaps you will recognize there dwells a love for you even in my eyes
& it is there that the dream I so often love to dream lies.

But will you be able to make out the meaning of my stammering lines?
Or will you never realize you are the one for whom my heart pines?

Whether or not you come to know, my love for you will remain the same!
& I will always look around at the mention of your sweet name

To live with you or to live without you makes all the difference in life to me
But still what matters even more is to see my sweet baby happy!

If you love me too, tell me so & I will give you all my love ever
But if you think we'd better be friends, I promise you my friendship forever!

Deep

History repeats...

2006-04-18T06:50:00.000-04:00

Nothing better to start a day than by watching a hilarious episode of FRIENDS at 6.00 am. I did that today and laughed my way into the day :) I remember only one other time when I saw FRIENDS so early in the morning. That was when I was 21, and having discovered FRIENDS with my friend Ashish, watched 14 episodes of season 5 through the night. As they say, history repeats, except I was a happy college kid then :( Wait a min, I am one today too! Yay! :))

Surrender to sleep...

2006-04-18T05:46:00.000-04:00

There has been more progress on the whole "get my sleep cycle in order, back to the good ol' days of March 2006 when I got up at 11 am :)" ... Accidental progress is vital for achieving such goals... A brief synopsis of that is presented.

What I Intended: Sleep from 6.30 pm to 7.30 pm and get back to work.

What Actually Happened: Slept from 7.00 pm to 5.30 am and got up hungry, having not had dinner...

What I realized: Yippie yuppie, a big step had been taken (literally) when I was sleeping!!

I can hear the applause. Ok, ok, please no more pictures.

Thankoo, Thankoo!!

ps: What I didn't say: Obviously since I slept, I didn't finish da work... So I am going to get one more opportunity of scaring Karthik and the gang at 7.00 am in da lab!! *sheepish smile*

Amusing extract on Google calendar...

2006-04-17T08:22:00.000-04:00

So Google calendar released... I am sure almost everyone has read all the reviews already... but one thing I found very amusing was on Robert Scoble's blog...

I quote from the blog:

I heard some other company announced a calendaring service this week. Oh, OK, it was Google with its calendar. But did you check out Kiko too? They have a bunch of things that Google doesn't do like it can send alerts via any IM and lets you get RSS feeds off of your appointments. But, does it really have a hope of competing against the big guys? As I watch people use calendars, I sense that they are swimming upstream. As Steve Gillmor said in his podcast with Mike Arrington the other day, he wants Google and everything else can go to heck. What I thought was fun was here at Microsoft employees were sending around instructions on how to get Office 2007 to work with Google Calendar.

Heh. The article is here

Niccee...

2006-04-17T08:09:00.001-04:00

God has hi-tech ways of sending his messages to you... After having a funny sleep cycle for the whole of last week... which reached its high point yesterday when I slept from 7pm-12am and then stayed awake through the night... a guy does tend to feel a little down... add to that a small little fake fight with a nice friend online... well, things dont look so good then, specially when u r in school at 8 am for work...and its only the third time this year that such a thing has happened...

Just when u r thinking how things are wrong... God places this blog in front of me... (of course, very discretely, almost as if by accident)... and I see the light. And maybe some of you will, too...

http://umsmusings.mu.nu/archives/027373.php

Have a good day! :)

Photography - Early days - Kids 3

2006-04-14T10:31:00.000-04:00

More pictures from the Google summer picnic 2005.

Isn't she just adorable??!!

Kids had fun playing "Go to Jail"

My friend Karina... heh heh! Shez not a kid, but shez as cute as any kid!

A room just to jump around... wow!

Sweet

The only thing more fun than playing like kids is watching them play!

Kids loved this huge dragon!

My friend Pie-ling... again not a kid, but as cute as any!!

Photography - Early days - Kids 2

2006-04-14T09:51:00.000-04:00

I took all these pictures during the Google Summer picnic 2005 during my internship. Kids were having a ball of a time and I was only too happy to shoot the devils :)

Luuuved this kid... he didnt care abt anything and was having the time of his life in the water

Running up n down the stairs is a serious activity!

At this point, he saw me and ran out of the frame!!

He returned a while later, in a sombre and reflecting mood now...

Dinner moment with Papa!

The crayons almost as big as him!!

Two kids, two pencils... (I luv the wandering lost kid in the background)

Shashi's cute nephew with his 'spoils' for da day!!

Photography - Early days - Kids 1

2006-04-09T19:37:00.000-04:00

This kid was having fun making castles on Santa Cruz beach, CA

Jalpari ? Shez really that cute!

Saw this kid at the Mountain View Railway station

Hey, what do u want?

Off to do something more important!

The little girl and the sea

Surely therez something important under all that sand!!

Photography - Early days - Flowers

2006-04-09T19:21:00.000-04:00

Web on a hard drive! - Will Webaroo succeed?

2006-04-09T17:01:00.000-04:00

Time will tell! Downloads start tomorrow! (April 10 2006)

http://www.networkworld.com/community/?q=node/5388

http://www.webaroo.com/

Wish you were here...

2006-04-08T16:34:00.000-04:00

its no fair
wish u were here...

miles away, worlds apart
never felt the distance
as much as i do today...
how hard is it,
for two friends to meet
i know we have different lives
dreams of gold yet to fulfill
yet God knows i crave
the simple pleasure
of sitting beside you
talking for hours
holding your hand
is it too much to ask
its not a rant
just a faint prayer...

its no fair
wish u were here

-deep
7.40-7.51 am, 7th apr,2006

A brief history of Google

2006-04-03T03:18:00.000-04:00

A really brief history of Google products and Google aquisitions, right upto March 2006. Contains just dates and images...

http://boredfun.googlepages.com/home

Read upwards from the bottom... kinda a slice of history.

Pretty interesting, hmm?

Random pictures!

2006-04-03T00:08:00.000-04:00

Lincoln memorial ... if you know something about Abraham Lincoln's life, these words mean something to you.

Capitol Hill, DC

Up above the sky so high!!

Annapolis my love...

2006-04-01T20:17:00.000-05:00

Here are some photos from my trip to Annapolis with my friend Joel D'sa in September 2005 (photos courtesy: Joel D'sa). For the uninitiated, Annapolis is the capital of Maryland.

Annapolis is beautiful!! I am the kind of person who loves cities with old charm, and Annapolis was full of it... There is a small region where everything from buildings to the tiles on the road are red in color and its just beautiful to walk in the evening. Some people don't understand this joy because they are always looking for landmarks to see. But, you see, thats the beauty! The peace you will find there will win your heart easily.

I have been planning for a long time to go there one day, with a book and my ipod, and sit there for a couple of hours in the evening... It will be fun, a book to read, smiling people, and a cup of coffee on a pleasant evening, surrounded by red buildings and looking out into the sea. I promise myself, I am going to do this!!

There's also the Naval academy, there are some pictures of that and our cruise in the sea too. Hope you like them.

Footprints in the trails of water?

A bad day at sea is better than a good day at work!

Annapolis Naval Academy

I loved walking around the old city

Road to the sea

Red is the color in the air

Some more pics...

2006-04-01T02:33:00.000-05:00

Google building 41

Computer History Musuem near Google

Outside Charlie's cafe at Google

Being Yao Ming...

2006-03-27T08:37:00.000-05:00

http://thegirlinthehat.blogspot.com/2006/03/being-yao-ming.html

Simple... amateur ... delightful!!

Whats wrong with me!!

2006-03-27T07:22:00.001-05:00

Golden Gate, San Fransisco

Inner Harbor, Baltimore

View from UMBC ITE Building

San Fransisco from the sky!!

4733 Aldgate Green... good times!!

Once in a dozen years, I go to sleep before midnight. As if thats not enough, I get up at 4.30 am realizing I have not had dinner. And then, what do I do? I spend the next two hours decking up my orkut album... and glug a mountain dew to quell the not-had-dinner-last-night pangs... And then, finally, I decide this is important enough for people to know, so I blog all this and even upload some pictures here for good measure!! Seriously, whats wrong with me!! Ok, that was rhetorical, I already know whats wrong and NO, you may NOT send me a detailed list!!

Where wrong is right ...

2006-03-12T19:07:00.000-05:00

There have been umpteen times when I have been part of never-ending, pointless discussions on corruption in India. While lots of us know this really well, in our heart, that a miracle alone will help us change this 'national' habit, I have been thinking a bit about what makes almost an entire nation close their collective conscience and join in the fun that goes on everyday.

If you are from a middle-class background in India, like me, chances are that somewhere or the other, you have seen corruption, even been a part of it. Even the most chaste of us will certainly have at least contemplated tipping off that annoying policeman who stops you at the signal for no apparent reason and demands to see your PUC.

I was thinking about this for some time now, having knowingly or unknowingly been part of this culture, on whats wrong will all of us. (Yes, all of us. We have to accept responsibility for the system we are living in.) I realized that somewhere we have stopped thinking that there is anything wrong with doing this. That we own our money and what we do with it is nobody else's business.

A particular incident comes to mind. I worked for a software firm for two years and was given a tax-benefit if I could submit medical bills for the entire amount allocated. When the time came to submit this, I realized I had not really purchased any significant medicines, and so would not get the tax benefit. When I talked with several colleagues about this, some of them told me that neither had they. They explained to me that many medical shop owners would give you a bill for any amount, if you paid them some percentage of the money you got.

What disturbs me now is that how easy it seemed. At that moment it seemed such a routine procedure for many of them that I did not even feel there is anything wrong with that. It was just another thing that people were 'getting done'. They did not want to give away that money to a government which was not repairing their roads, which was not promising them electricity, which was not affording them security. In their enormous 'wrong' was a small 'right', which overrode any conscientous appeals.

I had almost made up my mind to do the same. Never once thought that there was something wrong with it. When I came home, I was discussing something with my Mom and the topic came up. I casually told her what everyone was doing and that it was a great way to save money. Suddenly my mom's expression changed. A look of disappointment came over her, and she said in a low tone, "Thats a nice idea you have there." She did not say anything more, nor did she try to stop me. But she was disappointed with me, and for the first time, I felt I was actually doing something wrong.

The more I thought about it, the more I couldn't believe, that all this while I was actually going to do this. That it never struck me that it was wrong to do so. And I wondered why... Because it seemed like the normal way of life. Everyone was doing it. I had failed my mother's expectations that day. Needless to say, I paid the entire amount.

But the incident taught me that not everyone who engages in corruption really knows he is doing something wrong. So many things become a way of life, we stop thinking about them. I remember a distant friend from a small town, who was trying hard to become an inspector. When I asked him why he was opting for this career, he said that the job would give him a way to earn from many 'sources', apart from his salary. He said it with the ease and innocence that only a small-towner can. For years, he had dreamt of the good city life, and had seen friends settle from the little lanes to the big houses. And they were seen as huge successes back home. What they did was a model. They had overcome the fate that the ignorant goverment system had relegated them to. They had 'conquered' the city, they had brought happiness to their old poor parents, they were good people. And so, when someone grew up with dreams of being like them, the notion of wrongness did not even exist. This was something right, this 'felt' right...

There will be many more examples. And through all of them, corruption has become a way of righting the wrongs that have been happening to us. There will be other levels to corruption surely, things that are plainly wrong and are done in the knowledge of them being wrong. But what disturbs me is the corruption of the other kind, where people have been given to believe that what they are doing is actually the right thing to do.

Prequel to Florida trip...

2006-03-09T23:26:00.000-05:00

Its been a long time since there has been any controversy in our utterly self-important lives. In another unrelated incident, I haven't blogged for almost the same amount of time. So I decided, its time to please my five readers (I found another one). I am about to write down inciting stuff, but ultimately YOU have to decide how much you want to trust someone who has been living off just fried noodles for two days...

Well it all started with everyone coming up with plans for Spring Break, and it seemed like everyone and his brother were going somewhere. As usual, we were extremely quick to pick upon the going-ons in our surrounding. For about a week, me and J repeatedly discussed a possible trip. Mainly in the following set of words:

J: Kidhar jaane ka hai kya?

Me: hmm... Dekhte hai...

This would often keep us satisfied for the day. Both of us were happy in the knowledge that we agreed on going somewhere, and when the RIGHT time came, we would decide where to go. In the meantime, we decided that N would be an excellent companion to make this trip even more fun. Apart from someone to share the rent, and fun, we also needed someone who would plan the whole thing for us. To that end, we set up a conference call with N.

-
J: Kidhar jaane ka hai kya?

Me: hmm... Dekhte hai...

N: Jaa sakte hai ... Plan karna padega...

Me: Jaa to sakte hi hai...

My patient approach was misunderstood by my potential tripmates as laziness and unenthusiasm. While I came to know about their opinion soon, I once again avoided an angry response and opted for an even more patient approach to calm the waters. This was labeled as more laziness. The sad story of my life is that many of my great qualities have symtoms that match activities of lazy people. Of course, it doesn't help that someone as insolent as J calls you lazy. Almost like Ganguly calling Kumble a bad fielder. Jeez.

Finally we decided to make a Florida trip. We made animated discussion about the trip in front of K. He listened in midst of watching Naruto and Becker. N decided to call the trip a Dil Chahta Hai trip. It was a firm reply to all sceptics who relentlessly expressed surprise that N and J were going together, and that I was going anywhere.

Me and J discussed this many times, wondering what the deal with people's reaction was. We realized in the end, that people make quick inferences from random and short pieces of information. To be fair, I made all the inferences while J listened. That often follows when we talk. J is a man of few words, and does not always bother to explain his statements. He also makes curiously interesting face expressions, like showing extreme interest when he is not at all interested, or vice versa. J has earned a reputation as a entertainer in the house and tries hard to keep up with this reputation. Me and K bear the pain, but perhaps its because we incite him in the first place. I am acutely aware, that K will not be with me to share this pain during the trip, as he will not be part of the trip.

Of course, some people raised the question of whether we had invited K for the trip, and J informed them that we had made the discussions in front of him, and he had never shown any inclination or interest. This was, of course, a brilliant cover up!! First of all, Dil Chahta hai cannot have four people. More importantly, neither J nor me, wanted to listen to K pontificating to all of us for the whole duration of the trip. We were also tired of his stories from Canada, with which he bored us to death in the first year of our room'ism'. In particular, both J and I seemed to agree that a vacation by definition is one, where you can be assured that noone in a radius of 123 meters is allowed to say "Ek Kaam karega kya?" to you.

Even as celebrations of this fact were going on, we made plans to spend 5 days in Orlando. The responsibiliy of booking a hotel was given to me. I was efficient in the job. It took only two days of threatening, namecalling, and humiliating insults to get the adrenalin flowing, and then, in a magical 5 minute phone call on the third day, the job was done. We were set to go!!

Or so we thought. Whilst this booking drama unfolded, J had, during his usually fruitless talks with fellow desis, uncovered some important information. When he came back after a talk with Kammo, he told me and N that only fools would spend 5 'fool' days in Orlando, while the world was busy having fun in Miami and Key West. While we always knew we were fools, when J calls you a fool, you feel doubly foolish. Meanwhile prices were rising, and fearing another 'patient' performance from me, I requested N to book the new tickets.

And so, we were set! Some of you may feel that this post is heavily mis-timed, since we are leaving to Florida next week. But I post this in the knowledge that all the payments are already made, and the trip will happen under all circumstances. Having got such a wonderful start, readers may rest assured that the trip will see us reaching new levels of friendship, and provide memories for future when we will fondly remember our time in Florida Spring Break 2006.

The dullest blog in the world

2006-03-09T16:41:00.000-05:00

http://www.wibsite.com/wiblog/dull/

Worth a look, but does get kinda 'duh' after a while :P

Unsaid...

2006-01-31T19:44:00.000-05:00

Its been a week or more now since I have come back from India. Of course the first few days were spent thinking about family and my cute little niece who I miss so much... But now, after so many days, I have entered that phase when the little things are coming back to me. All those little things I had planned, but didn't get time to do, or just plain forgot!...

I had decided to watch a movie with my mom, and today it suddenly struck me, sadly, that I didn't. Just my luck, there were no good movies to see in that one month.

I didn't go to Manmeet to eat chaat. I didn't meet one of my dear friends, for lack of time... So many others too... I am sure they all think, I have become arrogant, "American"... which is far from the truth.

Of course, I had lots of fun too... but now, as time passes, I am thinking of the small things... and thinking how life has become complicated over the years... Nothing remains the same, so many things have changed... and that's how its always going to be...

I really don't know how to deal with all these things that are going on in my mind... so many unsaid things... so many undone things...

Flying...

2005-12-27T05:26:00.000-05:00

A careful survey has revealed that the number of readers of this blog is not just three. In fact, it is four. Since one of them is located in India, it can be safely said that the blog has transcended boundaries and commanded international recognition.

It is my duty, therefore, as also my pleasure, to inform my readers that I am flying to India today!! Wow, its going to be soo much fun!!

Happy new year to one and all. Till we meet again, happy thoughts!

Something disturbing...

2005-12-14T04:56:00.000-05:00

I have often wondered whether it is right to execute a person for his/her crimes. There are groups in the world who have severely opposed the death penalty. There was the famous case of Dhanonjoy Chatterjee in India, when many anti death-penalty champions took to the streets. In USA this week, a similar chapter was repeated when Stanley Tookie Williams was executed by lethal injection earlier yesterday.

On one hand, I believe a criminal must face the results of his crime. No-one can justify what Dhanonjoy or Williams did. Ever. No action of atonement can bring back the lives that were lost, nor subside the pain that was caused. On the other hand, punishing death with death, makes 'Us' just like 'Them'. When Williams died yesterday, the death was witnessed by a group of fifty people. He was put on a table in a glass chamber and people sat around the chamber and watched him die. Watched him die. It gives me a feeling of civilized murder. Criminals act as per their wrong ideas, follow their cruel intentions. The system that does justice to them, acts no better. It murders them in cold-blood, at a given time and place.

I understand the perspectives of both groups. I understand the need for revenge, the need for 'closure' that a victim's family wants. My views therefore swing between two opposite ideologies.
Perhaps, this is one of the most complicated issues of our times. Various nations have differing opinions regarding this.

Here is a link to the report about the death of Stanley Williams. Its depressing.

I read this when I was a kid. The story of Pandora. How the world was once a beautiful place and there were gardens and orchards all around. And there were no hard choices to make. I wish Pandora hadn't opened the box and the world had remained just like that : beautiful, peaceful.

True love...

2005-11-25T02:10:00.000-05:00

There are a few moments in your life, when you feel you are in the presence of true love, and you often cherish those for life. I sometimes feel that the sum total of ones existence is the few moments of love and affection that we have in our lives; it is the simple hugs, the careless pecks and the mischievious nudges, those few moments in which your heart took a leap, that you remember even years later. And if you have ever been in love, you will know when you are in the presence of true love.

Last evening I was at a friend's place and we were having a get-together for Thanksgiving. It was here that I met this couple, and looking at them during the evening, I just knew how truly in love they were. It was a kind of quiet, confident love that you don't get to see everyday. One of them is a friend of mine, and I felt I had never seen her like this, she was always pretty, but yesterday... She was so happy, her face was glowing, and she was looking really beautiful... We were all so very happy to see her happy.

Everyone could see the chemistry between the two. Perhaps, I am a bit more intuitive, and I could feel a bit of the history too. I could feel how much they had been through the years, the ups and downs, and I don't know why I felt this way, but that every smile today had been paid for with some tears in the past.

The two made the evening extra special for me; for sometime now I have been really cynical about love. Sometime back I had written in this blog an article titled "Once I too was pure and naive" . I remembered my friend Shashi and how much in love he was and how we used to talk for hours at King Circle at 'Garnish' about these things. Once I came here, I kind of felt I had lost sight of true love, it was always a throw-it-in-your-face, "hey its us"-kind of love that you often get to see here.

Not that I have anything against it. But I feel that still waters run deep, love need not always be obvious, and if it is true, it will show. I had begun to think that it doesn't happen that way anymore.

I felt true love no longer exists. And I am so glad I was wrong about that.

Yearning for magic again...

2005-11-18T17:52:00.000-05:00

Yearning for magic again...
Dreaming of ----- again...
Riding the wings of desire
Flying away from pain...

Riding the wings of desire, flying away from pain,
Life is a beautiful game.

Some more "roomisms"...

2005-10-21T21:28:00.000-04:00

This one is short, I promise. Just two more gems from roomie-talk, fresh off the oven:

Heard while retorting to a claim that someone doesn't like someone's attitude: "The feeling is bi-mutual!"
Heard during the discussion of why all Bengali's are not like our Bengali roommate: "Ay chal chal... Sab Bengali log tere tarah kharab nahi hote... Abhi for example, Sarojini Naidu ko hi le le"

Many more will be posted soon. It is worthwhile to note while parting that I have started using ambiguous naming conventions to escape strange compiler warnings.

Lol so funny...

2005-10-16T04:20:00.000-04:00

My house has become a breeding lair for future comedians and it seems each roommate uses every opportunity to test his jokes on others. As all flaky and cheap people do, all of us laugh at almost anything that is thrown at us, and in the process encourage this never - ending cycle of really really poor jokes...

It comes as a relief then, when someone unwittingly cracks a really good joke, and the celebrations for this event often continue into the night, with peels of laughter arising intermittently...

Today's event needs special mention:

Today we were watching some TV show with a girl called Casey in it. First someone suggested that she looked cute and everyone readily agreed to that detail. It was then that I put forth a doubt: Is Casey the name of a girl or a guy and how are we supposed to know... The question made the room silent for a minute, after which Jay added that it was indeed a difficult question to solve and mentioned that Casey Miller who works at the university office is, in fact, a guy. Having two such examples of each kind, we racked our brains even more, when Jay finally came up with this beauty and stopped the discussion for ever by saying:

"Arre, shayad last name pe bhi thoda depend karta hoga!"...

I am planning to nominate this to the 4733 hall of fame for 2005. Please vote.

The fight within...

2005-09-25T18:40:00.000-04:00

When aims and ambitions
Clash with feelings and emotions
The mind wanders into a world of miseries
Uncured by fitness potions.

When the thinking mind pursues one thing,
& the heart endorses another,
The soul flutters in between & feels:
What would it do rather?

O loves of my life! & passions!
& my ambitions! Gather!
Couldn`t we break all old notions
And get along together?

-deep

ps: okie, that wasn't so good, but it was honest, I often feel I should be able to follow my heart, do what I really want to do even when I tread the path to academic success. And man, do these things clash! And so it is that things like learning either the piano or a guitar, getting back to my school friends, spending more time with my new friends, all take a backseat. I wish I could do all that. If someone could teach me how to.

Wishes And Roses

2005-09-25T18:38:00.000-04:00

She gave me no roses
I asked for none
But in secret refuges
I hoped for one...

She gave me good wishes
I kept them away
But their goodwill refreshes
Me to this day...

For roses are lovely
But not forever
Roses lose their fragrance
Wishes...never!

Once I too was pure and naive...

2005-09-24T21:52:00.000-04:00

Sometimes I wonder, how I have come to become all that I once hated. A cynical non-believer in love. One who cannot accept that no matter how much two people are in love, it is a facade both of them are putting up until the time comes to emerge from behind their masks. That we are all selfish people. Of course, there is a reason why I have unknowingly started thinking this way. I have seen it happening all around me.

Once I too was pure and naive,

The world was beautiful all around me

How I wished I could have stayed the same;

I am sure it would be

A lie to myself. Yet I would be

Happier than what I am today,

A cynic who lives day by day.

On lonely days, I sit down and think. Why things didnt work out. Why the idealist in me died. Why I stopped believing. Why it was so much better when I was man enough to cry.

It was so much better when I believed. I really want to believe again. In love. In destiny. And I will, one day, even if there is a fraction of a reason to believe.

Wish I had stayed naive.

Gypsy girl...

2005-09-24T19:03:00.000-04:00

Her hair needed brushing...
Her hands needed washing...
Clean but crumpled, her dress needed pressing...
She had me gazing at her on that mysterious evening.
But all she shared
Was a blank stare.
Now she's gone with the evening
But hours later,
Miles apart,
I am still thinking...
Of the gypsy girl who stole my heart.

-deep
(Inspired by someone I had met when I was 15.)

Lather, Rinse, Repeat

2005-09-20T16:42:00.000-04:00

Seems like just yesterday when I came here. Trying to act like Mr. Cool, kinda nervous inside, not a clue in the world how things were going to shape up. I was very lucky to find very good friends here. Yet each one of them seemed weird in his or her own way when I met them for the first time. I am not going to go into examples here :)
I fumbled for the first few days, trying to find my way around, took the wrong buses, got down on the wrong streets, said hello to the wrong girls... the list goes on. Except for the last point on that list, I have improved a lot on the others. Things worked out well, thanks largely to early support by friends like Piyush, Monty, Nitin and Abhishek.

I had a good time with my roomies Nimish, Jay and Kausum, neither of whom I can even begin to explain. The weirdest of the lot had befallen my path, and I couldn't have been more thankful about it. Times have changed, and soon we will not live together. I will miss them. The little things. Those that only roomies will understand.
The only fun in trying to be Mr. Cool in your first semester here, is watching your roomies do the same and fail miserably. And being blissfully unaware that you are worse than them ;) I will specially miss my roomie Jay, who has thru his unwitting sarcasm encouraged me many a times. Never before have the words "Aye chal chal kam kar tu apna" said with more meaning and sarcasm! Will miss him.

The reason I remembered all this today is because a new batch of students is here now. And I see the same wide-eyed blokes around campus that I am afraid, I was one of, last year. The same questions. The same excitement. Its like watching a replay in realtime. Hey, don't get me wrong. Everyone goes thru that, gotta go thru that. Its a whole new world, and I remember clearly how that world became my world, as it will be theirs in the days to come. Cant wait for the snowing to begin!

School blues

2005-09-20T00:41:00.000-04:00

I thought writing a blog wouldnt be so difficult, but its two weeks into school and I am finding myself short of time. I am sure I should be able to have ten minutes to myself in a day though,
so I am planning to write at least thrice a week from now on. Lets see how well that goes. I am probably not into school mood yet. Boy, do i miss Google days.

The story so far...

2005-09-07T00:05:00.000-04:00

To cut a long story short, everyone seems to be having a blog nowadays, and I was kinda feeling left out. Also, I thought it would be cool to put down my thoughts someplace, something I could reflect upon later. I used to write a diary for several years, so this may not be too unfamiliar for me.

The story so far : I was born in India in 1980, had my schooling and college there, came to the University of Maryland, Baltimore County in August 2004. Its been a little more than a year for me in the US now, and I have just about started enjoying it. I have just returned from a great summer in California, so I am feeling pretty good about myself.

Every life according to me is a book in itself; like most of us, I too have had the struggles, hopes, falls and joys along the long winding way. In a few hours from now, I will be twenty five, and if there is something I have learnt in all this time, it is that I should do my best and the Lord will put everything else into place. The lessons are plenty, and will be best said in these lines from the poem "Waiting" by John Burroughs:

Serene, I fold my hands and wait,
Nor care for wind nor tide nor sea;
I rave no more 'gainst time or fate,
For lo! My own shall come to me.